Reality

This is my last avenue where I can rant in full. Don't anyone dare deprive me of it.

Over the last year, I have been moving and working to get the fees down. In the last two months, with the help of some dedicated and supportive people, we have come that much closer to change anything at college. To change the ideals, to change the concepts, the way things are run, the way people see and talk about things. We were that much closer to making things better.

Heck, we are in a lot of trouble. Our retention rate at college is falling. Every year 30% less return. There is no continuity of culture, there is no continuity of anything really. The exact same reason America lost the Vietnam war as they kept cycling their experienced generals out of the country. We're in trouble and it affects every single level of college life. The participation, the mixing of different cultures, the running of the place, everything.

I'm an old man here. I and a few others are senior enough to see what goes on. We've talked to enough people, seen the past. How things were done, what worked what didn't. We know where the problem in administration lies. We know where the problems in the student body lies. We're experienced to know how to get things done. Familiar with all the systems and individuals. We know.

And I've tried. I stretched myself with no gain to myself. I did all this campaign in spite of the fact I had a scholarship on the line. Now I have the scholarship the fees don't bother me. I did this with good intentions. I went about it as tactfully as I could. Make no enemies. And we were getting somewhere. We were actually getting somewhere. And I was thinking to myself - maybe, just fucking maybe, something in this world could be changed.

Somehow in the midst of all this I finally identified the best position to be in to better this was as president at college. It was the correct place. It was the right place to do something. So I ran for it. I struggled beyond self doubt and many things to do it.

And then, some fucker comes up and blacklists me in front of everyone. Tells everyone exactly why I wasn't suited for the job. I had no chance to defend myself. I had no chance to disprove anything. It came without warning and the stupid masses of sheep... bought it. After all my effort, after all my sacrifice, they still couldn't see beyond his claims. I didn't want glory. I didn't even want thanks. But I wanted people to realise what it was that was going on. For their sake. For the sake of the college. But no. No they bought the slander and that was that. I did not deserve it.

And then of course to add the cherry to the cake. All my work at the fees and management. The ex president has taken credit for it. All my initiative, the hours I put in, the planning, the skill, everything. He did not lift a finger and at points he was an impediment. I never asked for recognition I never asked for thanks. But I did not see someone just happily coming in to take all the credit for it.

I am angry. However well you know me, you will know that it takes a lot to get me angry. I'm atrociously angry. The want for vengeance seems to pump right through me like the hot blood. Publicly slandered, stolen credit, gloated over, victim to the masses of sheep. I am not weak. Just because you paint an incapable picture of me has lost me none of my potential. I didn't get this far in helping the college and reducing fees and improving management by being an idiot. And I'm sick of being Mr Nice Guy and I'm not a fucking doormat. Both characters, I've treated with respect and dignity and what did they accord me? I did everything I did with a clear a conscience as possible and I upheld my honour. To be taken down by pathetic slander? To be cheated of? I am fully capable of striking back. I can make them really regret what they did - I don't need to be friends with everyone anymore. And as for the masses. Maybe I'll keep up the good fight. Maybe I'll just watch them burn, laugh and most importantly make sure they know they're burning and it's their own fault. At the end of the day, completely and totally their own fault.

I'm trying my best to do something good. But it seems that the world doesn't care. Maybe I will make the world care even just a little. I am not to be stepped upon. I will not take your shit. I am something large enough for you to be afraid of. Just wait, just you wait...